Lets try that again.
The forecast for today is: Melbourne weather.... four seasons in one day.
Today started at approximately 11pm last night, when a caravan arrived in the site next to ours. About an hour later they had finished backing, moving forward, sideways and for all I could tell upwards to get there van appropriately sited, accompanied at the top of the voice with "yeah, just another foot, nah, I think it should go over a bit, etc.... You get the picture.
The morning continued with a number of convoys of people proceeding to the bathrooms. Apparently this requires vocal evocation at a high volume in a number of languages prior to use, not sure why, but evidence shows this is required. Later in the day I tried out the loud vocalisation prior to usage of the bathroom myself, but it did not seem to have any impact on efficiency. I will continue my study of this behaviour tonight and report on any further findings. It is possible I'll have to consult with one of the people to ascertain the exact requirement for the vocalisation.
Later in the morning (about 4am) we were given further examples of loud vocalisation from a pair of inhabitants of the caravan two down, who were accompanied by the rumble of a diesel engine as they attempted to hitch up a caravan. It will be noted that the addition of the diesel engine required the introduction of a light show in the form of headlights being shone into every available accommodation. I have a feeling that this event was of the nature of a teaching event, as the participants appear to be inexperienced in hitching caravans and the usage of both headlight and ignition switches to reduce the impact of the event on other residents. The event lasted 60 minutes. One can only hope that when this event plays out again at another venue, the players have gained enough experience to understand that the usage of engine and headlights have little benefit when raising stabilisers and jockey wheels (and what ever else took 60 minutes to complete).
Following the last event, we were feeling a little "hot" and decided that retiring to the showers would be the best use of time. I believe Kerrie spent quite some time enjoying the hot water, whilst I divested myself of the fourteen days of facial hair growth that was starting to generate a degree of irritation.
In comparison to the previous events, the remainder of the day proved to be relatively quite. The small matter of navigational embarrassment whilst attempting to locate Luna Park was quickly resolved by referring to a GPS.
Other points of interest were also located with no difficulty if one discounts the interesting method of the motor vehicle usage the people of Melbourne seem to have taken on over the last ten years. Driving in Melbourne is not something that can safely be taken on without prior reference to both a calendar and a clock. Most road directions, including speed and direction restrictions seem to be closely related to the movement of the sun and the moon. I have a theory that the Victorian RTA is actually a front for a primitive Central American religion who practice the ritual sacrifice of interstate tourists.
This afternoon was taken up with registering the girls into the competition. On completion it was discovered that counter to the RTA's reliance on actuate timing the competition organisers places great store on the complete absence of timings, including even a start time to tomorrows events. On enquiry some estimates of a start time were generated (maybe by the examination of a sheep's liver?).Tim and I will be accompanying the girls to the competition (sheep's liver and orrery in hand) to cheer them on and ensure the RTA is not lying in wait.
We've decided to delay our departure from Melbourne for 24 hours to further study the interesting contrasts of reliance and lack of reliance on celestial motions and to allow the children to experience the unique methods of personal transport utilised in this fair (rainy, windy, sunny, cold, warm) city.
Warning: The accuracy of the above account must not be relied upon. The writer is suffering from some degree of sleep deprivation and may be indeed hallucinating.
He he
ReplyDelete